Any serious-minded persons are notified forthwith: Get thee hence. Your kind and your logic are not wanted here.
This is not an essay. It is not political, ethical, or artistic commentary. It is not prose poetry.
It is a list, subdivided into categories, of my favorite animal group names.
Ye be warned.
From the Oxford Dictionaries site. Group names listed are those not classified as 'fanciful' or 'invented'.
The Unutterably Perfect Nominatives category.
In order of 'Superlative' to 'Consummately Sublime'.
A rabble of gnats
A pride of peacocks
A plague of locusts
A scourge of mosquitoes
A tower of giraffes
A bloat of hippopotamuses
A crash of rhinoceroses
The Great Book Titles Category.
In order of 'I Would Buy It' to 'I Would Write It'.
A siege of bitterns
A charm of finches
A parliament of owls
A watch of nightingales
An exaltation of larks
A murder of crows
A murmuration of starlings
An unkindness of ravens
The When In Doubt, Call Them What They Do category.
In order of 'Not Even Close' to 'Yawningly Obvious'.
A bellowing of bullfinches
A chattering of choughsA clamour of rooks
A bask of crocodiles
A leap of leopards
A glaring of cats
A tittering of magpies
The Huh? category.
In order of 'Jim Morrison' to 'Timothy Leary'.
A business of ferrets
A grind of blackfish
A grist of flies
A sounder of boars (twelve or more)
A hive of oysters
A sute of bloodhounds
A kindle of kittens
A husk of hares
A lute of wildfowl
The Irresistible Mental Picture category.
In order of 'Whichever Occurred to Me First' to 'Whichever Occurred to Me Last'.
A smack of jellyfish (Some unfortunate soul being pelted with the things.)
A mess of iguanas (Four words: Mess hall. Uniformed iguanas.)
A labour of moles (Moles with little shovels & spades and workman's caps.)
A tribe of sparrows (Sparrows with spears under their wings, faces painted for battle.)
A huddle of walruses (Walruses in jerseys and helmets, heads together.)
A parcel of penguins (Wrapped in brown paper & string & addressed, with heads and feet sticking out.)
A posse of turkeys (male only) (We don't need no stinkin' badges.)
A sleuth of bears (Bears in deerstalkers, clutching meerschaums and magnifying glasses.)
A rack of colts (Two words: Bike rack.)
A bouquet of pheasants (Hapless pheasants with bodies wedged into a wide vase.)
A nursery of raccoons (Raccoons in bonnets and footie pajamas wreaking havoc on a hospital nursery.)
The Someone In the Military Had Too Much Time On His Hands category.
In order of 'Isn't That Cute' to “Run For It'.
An array of hedgehogs
An army of frogs
A company of archer fish
A mustering of storks
A flange of baboons
A cohort of zebras
A rout of wolves
A battery of barracuda
The Almost Certainly Invented by Hunters and Fishermen category.
In order of 'Errr...' to 'In-Joke'.
A flick of rabbits
A whoop of gorillas
A plump of moorhen
A hover of trout
A wisp of snipe
A richness of martens
A glean of herring
The Now That's Just Mean category.
In order of 'Cold' to 'Daaaamn'.
A pace of asses
A sore of ducks
A rasp of coots
A destruction of wildcats
A dessert of lapwings
A bury of conies
A barren of mules
A mutation of thrushes
A walk of snails
The I Wish My Puns Could Be In the Oxford English Dictionary category (also known as the Jealous I Didn't Think of It First category).
In order of 'Humorous' to 'I'd Thought Monty Python Made That One Up'.
A mute of hounds
A host of angelfish
A puddling of mallards
A gulp of swallows