I need something lighthearted to do right now, so in response to the impending Oscars I’ve decided to distribute awards to some of my favorite movie lines/exchanges:
Winner in the “Best Pick-Up Line Response” Category:
“Hi. I’m Johnny- Johnny Dangerously.”
“D'you know your last name’s an adverb?”
-Michael Keaton and Marilu Henner as Johnny and Lil, in Johnny Dangerously
Winner in the “Worst Set-Up In History” Category:
“The young lady with the Uzi- is she single?”
-River Phoenix as Carl, in Sneakers
Runner-Up in the “I Guess My Dreams Are Normal After All” Category:
“I had my dream again where I'm making love, and the Olympic judges are watching… I got a 9.8 from the Canadians, a perfect 10 from the Americans, and my mother, disguised as an East German judge, gave me a 5.6. Must have been the dismount.”
Billy Crystal as Harry, in When Harry Met Sally
Winner in the “I Guess My Dreams Are Normal After All” Category:
“Something strange happened to me this morning.”
“Was it a dream where you see yourself in sort of sun-god robes, on a pyramid, with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?”
“No.”
“Why am I the only one that has that dream?”
-Val Kilmer and Gabriel Jarret as Chris and Mitch, in Real Genius
Winner in the “Best Almost-Completely-Invisible Insult” Category:
“Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.”
“Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.”
“Thank you. -Where was I?”
“Australia.”
- Wallace Shawn and Cary Elwes as Vizzini and The Man in Black, in The Princess Bride
Winner in the “Ridiculously Perfect Wordplay” Category:
“Oh, the terrorists, they ran that way... it was a run-by fruiting."
-Robin Williams as Euphegenia, in Mrs. Doubtfire
Winner in the “Best Extended Euphemism” Category:
“Your man Christian is a cake boy.”
“What?”
“He's a disco dancin', Oscar Wilde readin', Streisand ticket holdin' friend of Dorothy, know what I'm sayin'?”
-Donald Faison and Alicia Silverstone as Murray and Cher, in Clueless
Winner in the “Best Archaic Insult” Category:
“Were her breath as terrible as her terminations, there were no living near her.”
-Kenneth Branagh as Benedick, in Much Ado About Nothing
Winner in the “Best Line In The Entire Misbegotten Movie” Category:
“It’s me!”
“Prove it.”
“You’re a dick.”
“Okay.”
-Hugh Jackman and James Marsden as Wolverine and Cyclops, in X-Men
Winner in the “Most Concise Case Summary” Category:
“It was oregano, Dave. It was a dime bag of oregano.”
“Yeah, well, your client thought it was marijuana.”
“My client's a moron. That's not against the law.”
-Tom Cruise and Matt Craven as Dan and Dave, in A Few Good Men
Winner in the “Best Warm Fuzzy Egalitarian Moment” Category:
“I'm rapidly becoming a big underground success in this town.”
“Gee, in another twenty-five years you'll be able to shake their hands in broad daylight.”
-Cleavon Little and Gene Wilder as Bart and Jim, in Blazing Saddles
Winner in the “Best Explanation Of Romance” Category:
“Annie, when you meet someone and you're attracted to them, it just means that your subconscious is attracted to their subconscious, subconsciously. So what we think of as chemistry is just two neuroses knowing that they’re a perfect match.”
-David Hyde-Pierce as Dennis, in Sleepless in Seattle
Winner in the “Glass Is Half Empty And It’s Over An Open Flame” Category:
“You know, we're sitting on four million pounds of fuel, one nuclear weapon, and a thing that has 270,000 moving parts built by the lowest bidder. Makes you feel good, doesn't it?”
-Steve Buscemi as Rockhound, in Armageddon
Winner in the “Best First Line Of A Movie Ever” Category:
“Say, any o' you boys smithies? Or, if not smithies per se, were you otherwise trained in the metallurgic arts before straitened circumstances forced you to a life o' aimless wanderin'?”
-George Clooney as Everett, in O Brother, Where Art Thou?
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WickedEye's Quotient
2/20/2006 at 00:58
Movie Line Awards
said...
Winner in best "Last Line" in a movie, ever:
Polly Perkins aims her camera at the falling lifeboat pods, but at the last moment turns and uses the last exposure to take a picture of “Sky Captain” Joe Sullivan.
Sullivan: Polly... you...
Perkins: It's all right. You don't have to say anything.
Sullivan: Lens cap.
~
said...
Winner in the "Best Definition in a Movie" Category:
"Define irony: a bunch of idiots dancing around on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash."
- Steve Buscemi as Garland Green in Con Air
~
Scientia said...
Ah, Steve Buscemi! Guaranteed to be the essayer of one of the best lines in any movie he's in. (Not to mention that he's one of those rare actors who's really good at both comedy and drama.)
If you like him, check this out if you get a chance:
http://nobodywantsyourfilm.com/Google.php
He's one of the actors in it, and one of the promoters, but you won't find it on IMDb or on any other site's filmography.
The film has a cool story and it's supposed to be very revelatory as well.
I love both of the above quotations, by the way. Even if they're both for films I've not yet seen.
~
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